Something to do at midnight...

It's just turned midnight, I'm tired, but I can't sleep. If anyone is reading this... then you're probably even more bored than me. But I have to do something to entertain me, to get my emotions out, or else I just won't sleep atall tonight. And this way doesn't involve letting those who know me know how I feel, which is always a bonus for me...
I'm so worried... I don't have a clue what to do. The way things are going, I'd be surprised if me and him were still together by the end of the summer... and I don't even know what has gone wrong, and I don't think he even knows something is wrong. All I want right now is to be with him, just to spend some time alone with him so I can forget it all and tell myself everything will be alright... but I can't... it hurts. I daredn't even contact him... one, because he won't be able to speak back (no credit, and probably asleep), two, he knows that I know he can't reply to me, so I don't want to annoy him any more than i probably already have, and three, I haven't the first idea what to say. If I could be with him right now, I wouldn't be speaking anyway... I'd just be happy to be with him... just to hug him. But I'm not even sure he'd want that...
We used to be so close, so together... so in love... We could tell eachother absoloutely anything and neither of us would be offended or upset of affected by it atall, because we both knew how much we loved eachother. We were always laughing, smiling, kissing... but now things are starting to change... like it did before, with someone else. Everything is going the same as it did last time, and I don't know if it's because of her or not...
He assures me he'd never, ever cheat on me... and I think I believe him on that, I think I can trust him. But he spends so little time with me than he used to, and more with her, and he speaks to me much less that he used to, and I think he talks to her more too. And she's not exactly the reserved, innocent type who wouldn't dare even look at someone else's boyfriend... she's considering meeting up with some guy who lives miles away for sex, and he has a partner... It's just all so confusing, and me and him have got so much more distant, and I hate it... because if we weren't so distant, any problem that did arise we could sort out... but if I'm too scared to talk to him, and when I do, I get annoyed... then it's just not going to work.
Why can't he be here with me... why can't he just make it better.... why do I have to make such a big deal out of everything, and get so upset at the slightest thing, why didn't I speak to him earlier? Why have I let it get so far out of hand? And why can't I do anything about it... When I need him most is when there's a problem... and when there's a problem, it's when i can't have him. I just pray that he isn't planning or doing anything behind my back... I just hope he still loves me as much as I love him. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, any thing before... if I were to lose him now, I don't know what I'd do. I need him .... and I really hope we can sort things out. Because if we don't... I just don't want to think about that.